I
have been expecting the call since the day she left, but it still hit like a
kidney shot to hear the news today. The woman who stole my heart twenty years
ago this fall had passed away early this morning after being taken off life
support last weekend.
Angela
was unspeakably cruel to me in the final years of our marriage and I had long
ago written her off as “dead” to me, but it still hurt like hell to learn her final
fate.
She
suffered a horrific childhood filled with unspeakable abuse and had been
discarded by her mom early in her teenage years. In spite of all that, she had
worked tremendously hard to overcome her past but she was always shadowed by unrelentingly
vicious demons; demons who could always convince her she was unworthy of anything
good in life and inevitably cause her sabotage it all. Careers, friendships and
her marriage were all torn down and discarded, but a piece of her was always
lost in the wreckage too.
Her
last years were tragic, the beauty and potential lost in pipes, dirty needles
and finally the liver disease she succumbed to.
The
girl I married was a bright shining star and that is who I choose to remember today...
Dead Flowers – The Rolling Stones
Well
when you're sitting there in your silk upholstered chair
Talkin'
to some rich folk that you know
Well
I hope you won't see me in my ragged company
Well,
you know I could never be alone
Take
me down little Susie, take me down
I
know you think you're the queen of the underground
And
you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send
me dead flowers by the mail
Send
me dead flowers to my wedding
And
I won't forget to put roses on your grave
Well
when you're sitting back in your rose pink Cadillac
Making
bets on Kentucky Derby Day
Ah,
I'll be in my basement room with a needle and a spoon
And
another girl to take my pain away
Take
me down little Susie, take me down
I
know you think you're the queen of the underground
And
you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send
me dead flowers by the mail
Send
me dead flowers to my wedding
And
I won't forget to put roses on your grave
Take
me down little Susie, take me down
I
know you think you're the queen of the underground
And
you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send
me dead flowers by the U.S. Mail
Say
it with dead flowers in my wedding
And
I won't forget to put roses on your grave
No,
I won't forget to put roses on your grave
