Hatha for Strength

We all face the change of seasons differently, each one of us has our reasons for loving one season more than the rest.

I usually like to say that fall is my time of year. Despite my love of outdoor sports like soccer and rugby, as I grow older I don’t really enjoy the unrelenting heat and at night I find it hard to sleep. Autumn brings cooler temperatures at night, less crowds around town, no insects, the chance to wear clothes and feel comfortable; I really do love this time of year.

If I’m completely honest though, this time of year is also an epic battle internally.

I struggle with change and really begin to dread the shorter overcast days and longer nights. My OCD causes me to mentally tally and obsess over how many summers I potentially have left.

Inevitably grief and anxiety have crept in and I sink deeper and deeper in the couch making excuses to avoid getting out and being active.

My yoga practice has tailed off again and I struggle to even look at the schedule to find a class I might enjoy. I begin to feel guilty about my lack of motivation and then the panic attacks come.

Holed up in my apartment I’m now using food for comfort and reward and starting to feel the weight gain. All the old habits flood back and I can see the familiar signs of depression looming.

The old me would be self medicated with alcohol which would allow depression to take over.

However, It’s not the same old story anymore. My discovery of yoga ten years ago and it’s gradual takeover of my life has provided me new perspectives.

The ability to cut away the noise and clutter, to clear the mind and just breathe, to acknowledge, accept and forgive the things that I once used to hate myself for - all the things I’ve learned on the mat allow me to see things the way they truly are and take steps to fight back.

I am now part of a community of like minded people who share my values and a Kula who unconditionally support me. I have the vocabulary and the voice to speak up and tell my story, to share it and maybe have it land for someone else.

This week a dear friend sent me the cartoon posted below; I haven’t written her in a while and it arrived with no context, it was just something she sensed I needed. Another dear friend called this week and said she had a powerful thought that I needed her call, each of these couldn’t have arrived at a more perfect time.

Yes, I am struggling, but now I have weapons, and warriors coming to my defense 😊

0930 Friday Hatha for Strength, who’s feeling like a warrior?

Namaste!
Shawn