The truth is, I was thrilled with the prospect of moving to Edmonton. Although I hadn’t lived there since I was very young I had always considered it home, and most of my extended family was still here in the region.
The logistics of the move were going to be daunting though. We had purchased our new home at the height of a housing bubble, but now in 2002 we were in the middle of a crushing recession. The softwood lumber dispute was in full effect and several local mills had permanently shut down, and our home that was worth $150,000 the previous year was now listed for half that and was never once shown. My railroad seniority was limited to BC and I was faced with the decision to give up my 16 year career and start over, but truthfully I was long overdue for a new challenge. Angela was looking forward to her new position but she had never faced the kind of stress and responsibility managing twelve stores would require of her.
We discussed all of this in detail but the move was never seriously in doubt so the negatives were ignored and we started planning in earnest. Angela received assurances from her supervisor and mentor that we would be taken care of and the move would be painless, and so in early summer she packed her bags and headed to Edmonton to get started while I stayed behind to handle all the packing and planning. I arranged for a moving company to pack up our home in PG and set about tying up all the loose ends of our life in BC. It was tough to be apart for an entire summer but I traveled out on the occasional weekend to surprise her and on one of those trips we were fortunate to find a beautiful home in a great neighbourhood to rent. I was also fortunate to discover that my new neighbour was a partner in a family owned security alarm business and he offered me a labourer position that paid minimum wage and I gratefully accepted.
After a long summer of considering all of our options, we were forced to concede that I would have to quit my railroad job and we would declare bankruptcy and abandon the house rather than trying to manage it from a distance. Intellectually, Angela could understand why these decisions were necessary but almost immediately the stress started to weigh on her. She would have frequent panic attacks and would constantly question the wisdom of it all, eventually blaming me for having forced her into it all.
On top of it all, Angela learned that her beloved mentor had betrayed her in the worst possible way. Le Chateau had promised to cover all of our moving expenses, but now that we had submitted everything for payment we learned that because no agreement had been signed, they would not honour it. Worse, as soon as we were settled she informed Angela that half of the stores promised to her were being given to another supervisor. The news was devastating and the effects were immediate. Without her old support system, no friends to call her own yet, and with her now considering me as a cause for all of her pain she snapped.
We had only been living in our new home for twelve months when I came home on a Friday evening to find her gone, with no clue where she went or if she was even coming back….
"Trapped" Bruce Springsteen
Well, it seems like I'm caught up in your trap again And it seems like I'll be wearing the same old chains Good will conquer evil and the truth will set me free And I know someday I will find the key And I know somewhere I will find the key
Well, it seems like I've been playing your game way too long And it seems the game I've played has made you strong But when the game is over, I won't walk out the loser And I know that I'll walk out of here again And I know someday I'll walk out of here again
But now, I'm trapped, ooh yeah, trapped Ooh yeah, trapped, ooh yeah, trapped, ooh yeah
Now it seems like I've been sleeping in your bed too long And it seems like you've been meaning to do me harm But I'll teach my eyes to see beyond these walls in front of me And someday I'll walk out of here again And I know someday I'll walk out of here again
But now, I'm trapped, ooh yeah, trapped Ooh yeah, trapped, ooh yeah, trapped, ooh yeah
Now it seems like I've been playing your game way too long And it seems the game I've played has made you strong Because I'm trapped, ooh yeah, trapped Ooh yeah, trapped, ooh yeah, trapped, ooh yeah I'm trapped, ooh yeah, trapped, ooh yeah, trapped Ooh yeah, trapped, ooh yeah, I'm trapped
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